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“Inspection” By Samantha Fergus

Navy Veteran, MVA Leader, MST Survivor

For what it’s worth, you swept me up like I was dirt.

Those hips and lips on me that I use to love, now scorn and torn like a rug.

Images of me in those cracked reflections.

Standing in formation as you look me up and down in those Inspections.

You knew what I look like underneath those dress blues, but took away all those rights and my decisions,

I turned into a muse.

The dissection of my dignities, as you went before a judge and got off Scott-free.

The land of the free and home of the brave,

You left me bare-naked and afraid.

To serve as a sailor, with honor, courage, and commitment you see,

You took away my voice, my choice and my dignity.

The internal wounds like bullet holes,

bleed,

As I lay unconscious on that bed.

As I hear in the court room it read,

Not 1,

Not 2,

But 3 times,

Left me face down on that hotel bed.

To live out the rest of my time in a uniform,

That had a soul-less woman in a height-line.

Those scares are invisible you see,

But I’ll be damned if I let that take over this beautiful soul and the womxn,

Sailor,

Artist I will be.

The nightmares will never go away,

But those demons I’ve laid at bay.

I am the Survivor,

And I chose to stay.

Samantha Fergus a United States Navy veteran of 6 years service as a culinary specialist/ cake decor on the USS Dwight D Eisenhower CVN 69 out of Norfolk and at Naval Base Kitsap in Silverdale, Washington. She is currently an entrepreneur, tattoo artist, student and Leader at #MVA. Samantha shares her story of MST while she was on board the Eisenhower during a pre-deployment out to sea inspection for Sexual Assault Awareness Month.

#VetsLikeUs #MinorityVets #HonorLGBTQTroops #WeServed #SheServed #MeTooMilitary #SAAM #PassMJIA